WAYS TO BECOME A MODEL PARENT FOR YOUR KIDS!

As a parent, we are in the front line to teach our children life in society and how we act / react is important to build their personality.

So we should not underestimate how much our children take as a role model.

Without putting too much pressure, here are the 10 ways to be a good model.

DO WHAT YOU SAY (UNITY OF THOUGHT, SPEECH AND ACTION): We want our children to behave well: that is what they are asked to do. But we must also set a good example, because our children constantly imitate us.

The key is to act the way we want them to act . For example, speaking with kindness to others, being nice, doing sports if you want them to do it ... Beware of the couacs: a few years ago, I remember someone as a parent telling one of their eldest son that you don't eat with fingers but rather using the fork next to the plate. Guess what he told me her mom that same evening when her mom started eating a pizza with her hands ...Winking.

BE CONSISTENT AND CONSISTENT: To be an example for your children, do not be a weather vane that changes all of the direction time. you must be consistent in your way of behaving.

If you have established a rule that your children can only play with their friends once they have completed their homework, then you should apply it all the time and do not make an exception, even if your children really want to, go play. If you tell your child that he should finish his vegetables before taking dessert, do not give up this rule because he begins to cry.

IF YOU MAKE MANY EXCEPTIONS, YOUR CHILDREN WILL THINK THAT THEY DO NOT NEED TO BE CONSISTENT EITHER.

That being said, there will be occasions when you will make an exception to the rule when the situation really requires it. And it's okay too, because it will teach your children not to have too much Manichean view of the world. For example, if your daughter goes to a party at friends of her high school, you can extend her curfew by an hour or two, but only because it is a special occasion.

If you have a partner, it is important to present a united front. You do not want to play the " good parent, bad parent ", or your children think they will get different answers depending on the parent they're talking to (a technique used very frequently by our darlings).

EXCUSE YOURSELF WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE: We all make mistakes. Eh yes! Everyone in fact, even parents! If we admit that we have been mistaken, that we can prove that we can learn from our mistakes and that we de-dramatize the situation, our children will learn not to be helpless when it happens to them.

Admitting his mistake may involve apologizing to his children. If so, look it in the eyes and show him or her that you are sincerely sorry.

In general, I take my smallest sitting on my legs and put my hand on the shoulder of the biggest to apologize. Physical contact is important to have all the attention of my children.

BE BENEVOLENT WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS MADE A MISTAKE: If your child has made a mistake and wants to apologize, it is a good thing to do it in the best possible way. Ban any attempt to make him feel guilty by your attitude. Treat it as you would like to be treated.

NAME YOUR EMOTIONS: The children live the emotions, but have difficulty in naming and even identify. We must show them how to do this by doing the exercise in our turn.

One way to do this is to describe , with a maximum of words , how one feels . If you are sad , it may mean that you feel rejected, but for another person it can mean that your heart is broken , that you feel alone or that you are disappointed, resigned ... is important to verbalize the negative emotions in order to appease the emotional centers of the brain. 

Tiffany Watt Smith, author of the Book of Human Emotions, feels that learning "new words for emotions allows you to identify them according to your own experience": "The more you identify and transform emotions from something vague enough into something concrete, the easier it will be for you when you get them . "

SHOW YOUR CURIOSITY: You can be interested in different topics. like reading about certain subjects, going to the cinema, traveling, or playing sports...

We can discuss it with the children , they ask the question and thus learn from each other in different ways. Our children will develop their curiosity and become more open to the world around them and to others.

One of our favorite activities is to look in the dictionary or on the Internet for the answers to the questions that are asked by the children and for which we have forgotten or do not know the answer. The last topic was the singer Marilyn Manson. 

THINK OUT LOUD: You do not necessarily have to answer everything. Your children must understand that you do not know everything.

On the other hand, you will help them enormously if a difficult situation to manage (quarrel among siblings ...) arises: you start to think aloud by involving them in decision-making to solve the problem.

For example: you hear that your children are fighting for a trampoline in the garden. During the intervention to separate them before it turns into a pugilate, you can think aloud: "I wish you could jump together on the trampoline but apparently it starts to be too small for that. How to determine who will start the first (draw, coin or face ...) and how long it will be able to use the trampoline (for example, after 5 minutes it will be the turn of the other and so on)? "

KNOW HOW TO REMAIN CALM IN THE FACE OF THE PROBLEMATIC SITUATIONS ENCOUNTERED: Being zen and not reacting hot are 2 rare qualities. To avoid getting carried away when a situation irritating: a good technique is to breathe deeply and count until 20 before speaking.

EMPOWER YOUR CHILD: First of all, it is clear that trust is the key and that it is above all not to blame her child by making him carry on his shoulders the weight of a responsibility too large and most of the time still abstract.

In order for the child to grow up harmoniously and become a responsible adult, it is mainly a question of helping him to:

• experiment and build personal confidence and self-esteem,
• learn to be detached from the family cocoon,
• test different approaches to a situation that poses a problem for him and thus take the initiative,
• integrate that he may be mistaken just as his parents also have the right to error,
• understand that he does not have to rely on someone else to do in his place (put away his clothes, his room, put the table ...).

TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF: We do not want our children to be forgotten (permanently) for the benefit of others. When we take time for ourselves (reading while playing, going to the cinema as a couple, going to run in the morning, taking a course, etc.), we show our child that we must keep up our passions and that we is more than a parent dedicated to his children permanently.